So, ive decided to start my own blog. that much is obvious. im kind of sick of looking for the right person or people to talk to. so often i find im disappointed. and that can be really tiring. so instead im going to publish my thoughts in a blog.
ive always had ambitious writing goals, but i always seem to have some excuse for not starting them or following through with those i do start. so we shall see how far i take this. who knows, maybe after keeping up with this for a while, i can use it for one of my many writing projects.
so a little bit about me. im young (perhaps ill disclose my age at a later date) and a mother of one and a half (the halfling is due in march). im not currently in school and i work a (barely above) minimum wage job.
my life consists of taking care of my daughter, working and maintaining our home. my husband is currently in school and working full time as well, so in my spare time, im trying to work in time to see him.
the whole reason i created this blog, to be perfectly, painfully honest, is because im lonely. this is not your typical kind of loneliness either. i have plenty of friends. im lucky enough to have kept all my close friends from highschool and i see them every few weeks or so when theyre home from school. i also have strong ties to my in-laws and i see them regularly as well. i have a rather outgoing, friendly personality and so i make friends easily as they come through my work place. lastly, but most importantly, my husband is my best friend. the loneliness stems from not having anyone who is going through what i go through on a daily basis- also known as, common ground. i want to know another young (young) woman who is a mother, also preferably a wife. oh yeah, and one whos not a deadbeat. and unfortunately, a package deal of those three qualities is ridiculously hard to come by.
i made one friend on myspace who happened to live 3000 miles away from me. i spoke to her as frequently as we could fit time in- once every couple of weeks at most. and that was fine for a while, since i had my hands full raising a baby, going to school, working, moving and planning my wedding. now that things have slowed down a bit, im realizing how lonely i am.
a good friend of mine recently discovered shes pregnant and things are moving just as quickly for her as they did for me. only there are a few key differences. shes several years older than me, shes graduated college, and the man shes marrying is almost thirty. that being said, he too, is graduated and is an assistant manager. dont get me wrong, im so excited for them and im really happy to finally have someone i know that i can relate to better, but i guess im just picky. oh and greedy too. i want more. Edmond and i have plans for what we want out of our life, but were going about it much much slower because we are still trying to get caught up. and because of that, were not really on the same path as our friends. these two are much further ahead. i want someone i can walk beside on this road.
